Gone like the wind

I have been trying to grow out my hair for the big wedding. About two years ago I received a N A S T Y haircut from a student at a local cosmo college. It has literally taken me this long to grow past the "oops."

But I couldn't stand it another second. When the weather gets hot, either a woman puts her hair UP or cuts it OFF. My hair was at the stage where it was too short to put up and I definitely didn't want to go shorter.

Problem #1. I don't have a regular stylist. I don't know why. Just hasn't worked out well with any stylist since 1986. I used to have a regular stylist then but she was "let go" and that just freaked me out. How can a seasoned stylist be fired? I was always afraid since that I would find a stylist I liked and she would be "let go." So I never stuck around long enough to get a regular.

Problem #2. It was hot and I needed a cut and I needed it bad. Once I make a decision, stand back and let me go. I was going to get a cut today if I had to do it myself.

I went to a salon by Kmart. Not one customer in the salon. Too hot to be doing anything but have a beer and watch golf on tv. Good, I thought. I could get in and get out. Piece of cake, baby.

Problem #3. I wasn't specific. "I don't want the length cut. Just layer it."

Sounds simple? I could have done it myself, but I can't see the back of my head.

Problem #4. Never talk to your stylist. I think this is a good rule. If she starts talking, she loses focus on the prize.

I did not heed my own advice. I'm yakking away about the upcoming wedding and before I knew it, my haireth layeth on the flooreth!! And then she starts thinning what is left of my hair. Seriously, I don't think it needs thinning!! I like my thick hair. I feel like a female Sampson. Cut my locks and there goes my strength.

Too late.

I am now sporting a new do. A new look. Not the look I wanted, yet there it is. Short. Curly in the summer Iowa humidity. It will now take a whole bottle of ZERO FRIZZ to calm my 2 hairs that are left on my head.

Now I can emphasize with the women who complain about thin hair. Thin hair does not listen. Thin hair laughs when reach for the gel. Thin hair is lazy, does not do what you want it to do. Thin hair rules.

So I have 2 months for my hair to grow and expand to the style I was working towards for the wedding. Not going to happen. I'll just be happy if my ears are covered by then.

It's time to find a regular stylist.....