24 things I have learned so far in 2010.
1. New Year's resolutions are a waste of good intentions.
2. If the sun doesn't shine for 3 days in a row, even good people turn ugly.
3. When you share your winnings, two get lucky.
4. Silky undies make your pants less clingy.
5. "Crack pretzels" are my drug of choice.
6. You can vomit and crap at the same time and it's not pretty.
7. Really bad things happen to really bad people and I enjoy hearing about it.
8. Conversation heart candies taste best in January.
9. Life sucks until you drink your first cup of coffee of the morning, then it just sucks less.
10. Even if you sit real still and don't say a word, people will still notice you.
11. A mini skirt is not flattering on an old lady.
12. Pimples appear at any age.
13. It is possible to walk on ice in heels and live to tell about it.
14. Stupid people continue to work in customer service.
15. My cat sleeps in my closet during the day.
16. People still can't pronounce my name correctly.
17. I am not a stinkin' shrinking violet.
18. If you wear the same clothes two days in a row, nobody cares.
19. While plastic hangers are better for your clothes, they take up more room on the rack.
20. Brett does look good in purple.
21. Hospitals care about patient satisfaction. Really... they do.
22. You are as young as you feel til you sit down.
23. The next day always comes.
24. Scheetz happens.
What have you learned so far in 2010?
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Friday, January 1, 2010
Fill In
The pressure was on. Big time. The President of the Hospital asked me to type up a label for a file folder. Sounded so simple.....
The Executive Secretary to the President/CEO took the week between Christmas and New Year's off as vacation. She assured me before she left that nothing out of the ordinary was planned and I would have a quiet week filling in for her.
But then it happened. Day #2 of playing Ms. Executive Secretary. The President was rummaging through a cabinet, found what he was looking for and asked me to create a label for the file. I felt confident. I have typed many labels before. Piece of cake baby. Just hadn't typed a label in my new position at the hospital.
First I had to find where the template was for the file labels. I was shown where it was 4 months ago when I first started this job. The Hospital's computer network has 3 drives. Surely you would think the template would be under the "common" drive in a file called "Label Template." That would make sense. But of course, there was no "Label Template" file in the "common drive." Ok, how about under the "administrative" drive in a file called "Masters." Again, that would make sense. And again, there was no "Masters" file, no "Label" file, no "Template" file.
I am starting to worry. Beads of sweat appear on my forehead. It's a fricking label!! How hard can this be?? I decide to forget trying to find the template. And just go to WORD and print out a label the old fashion way... using the label feature like you would if you were typing up an envelope.
I typed "Dr. Jack Jones, Emergency Physician Agreement." Ran to the printer and put in the label paper. Ran back to my computer and pushed PRINT.
And waited. I hear nothing printing.
I stare at my computer and see the label perfectly typed on the monitor. I look at the printer. Nothing.
Ok, gotta think here. I'm obviously missing a step. So I close out of Word. Re-enter Word and click on the label template.
At this point I figure maybe I need to print a whole page of the same label. I didn't care if I had 30 labels of Dr. Jack Jones. All I needed was one.
Click PRINT. Glance at the printer. Nothing.
It has now been 10 minutes and the President is waiting for his stinking label.
I am tempted to just hand write the label. I've been told I have lovely handwriting.
But the Prez had asked me specifically for a typed label.
One more time. Out of Word. Back into Word. Type the blasted Doctor's name. Click PRINT. NOTHING.
Being the savvy secretary that I am, I decide to print something else out and bypass the label template. I type "This is stupid" and push PRINT. Again, nothing.
THEN. A lightbulb comes on in my head. I remembered I had used a different printer earlier as I was working on a graph and wanted to print it to the COLOR copier. I had forgotten to switch the printer on my computer back to the black & white. And the color copier was in a different room so I couldn't hear it printing!!
DUH. I was so excited that I figured this out!! I quickly went back to my computer and switched the printer and WALA!! Noise was coming out of the printer!! While in my excitement, I had forgotten to change the label format to just ONE label, so now I had 33 labels of Dr. Jack Jones.
I chose the label in the middle of the page, slapped it on a manilla folder and proudly put the file folder on the President's desk. "Oh, thanks Joly." "Sure, no problem. Let me know if I can help again."
I plopped back on my chair by my desk and took a deep breath. I'm still sweating.
Just then the President walked by and said, "This is important. I need this letter sent registered, overnight, receipt requested."
"Ok, sure, consider it done." Big smile.
I have seen the Executive Secretary do this before but I have no clue where the registered labels are, no idea where the green receipt requested postcards are. I search for about 10 minutes in every drawer in the administrative offices.
Screw it. I picked up the envelope, walked down to the mail room and said, "This is important. I need this letter sent registered, overnight and receipt requested back to the President."
The mail room worker said, "Ok, sure, consider it done."
We both had big smiles.
I walk back to the administrative office. Finished my daily work. The President puts on his coat and begins to leave for the day. Stops short and says, "Thanks for your help today, Joly." I put on my best grin and reply "Sure, that's what I'm here for. Good night."
Note to self: Buy new antiperspirant, get the maxiumum strength kind.
The Executive Secretary to the President/CEO took the week between Christmas and New Year's off as vacation. She assured me before she left that nothing out of the ordinary was planned and I would have a quiet week filling in for her.
But then it happened. Day #2 of playing Ms. Executive Secretary. The President was rummaging through a cabinet, found what he was looking for and asked me to create a label for the file. I felt confident. I have typed many labels before. Piece of cake baby. Just hadn't typed a label in my new position at the hospital.
First I had to find where the template was for the file labels. I was shown where it was 4 months ago when I first started this job. The Hospital's computer network has 3 drives. Surely you would think the template would be under the "common" drive in a file called "Label Template." That would make sense. But of course, there was no "Label Template" file in the "common drive." Ok, how about under the "administrative" drive in a file called "Masters." Again, that would make sense. And again, there was no "Masters" file, no "Label" file, no "Template" file.
I am starting to worry. Beads of sweat appear on my forehead. It's a fricking label!! How hard can this be?? I decide to forget trying to find the template. And just go to WORD and print out a label the old fashion way... using the label feature like you would if you were typing up an envelope.
I typed "Dr. Jack Jones, Emergency Physician Agreement." Ran to the printer and put in the label paper. Ran back to my computer and pushed PRINT.
And waited. I hear nothing printing.
I stare at my computer and see the label perfectly typed on the monitor. I look at the printer. Nothing.
Ok, gotta think here. I'm obviously missing a step. So I close out of Word. Re-enter Word and click on the label template.
At this point I figure maybe I need to print a whole page of the same label. I didn't care if I had 30 labels of Dr. Jack Jones. All I needed was one.
Click PRINT. Glance at the printer. Nothing.
It has now been 10 minutes and the President is waiting for his stinking label.
I am tempted to just hand write the label. I've been told I have lovely handwriting.
But the Prez had asked me specifically for a typed label.
One more time. Out of Word. Back into Word. Type the blasted Doctor's name. Click PRINT. NOTHING.
Being the savvy secretary that I am, I decide to print something else out and bypass the label template. I type "This is stupid" and push PRINT. Again, nothing.
THEN. A lightbulb comes on in my head. I remembered I had used a different printer earlier as I was working on a graph and wanted to print it to the COLOR copier. I had forgotten to switch the printer on my computer back to the black & white. And the color copier was in a different room so I couldn't hear it printing!!
DUH. I was so excited that I figured this out!! I quickly went back to my computer and switched the printer and WALA!! Noise was coming out of the printer!! While in my excitement, I had forgotten to change the label format to just ONE label, so now I had 33 labels of Dr. Jack Jones.
I chose the label in the middle of the page, slapped it on a manilla folder and proudly put the file folder on the President's desk. "Oh, thanks Joly." "Sure, no problem. Let me know if I can help again."
I plopped back on my chair by my desk and took a deep breath. I'm still sweating.
Just then the President walked by and said, "This is important. I need this letter sent registered, overnight, receipt requested."
"Ok, sure, consider it done." Big smile.
I have seen the Executive Secretary do this before but I have no clue where the registered labels are, no idea where the green receipt requested postcards are. I search for about 10 minutes in every drawer in the administrative offices.
Screw it. I picked up the envelope, walked down to the mail room and said, "This is important. I need this letter sent registered, overnight and receipt requested back to the President."
The mail room worker said, "Ok, sure, consider it done."
We both had big smiles.
I walk back to the administrative office. Finished my daily work. The President puts on his coat and begins to leave for the day. Stops short and says, "Thanks for your help today, Joly." I put on my best grin and reply "Sure, that's what I'm here for. Good night."
Note to self: Buy new antiperspirant, get the maxiumum strength kind.
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