Flash

It was there for a fleeting moment. And then BAM, it went away. As quick as it appeared. Gone.

Life is funny sometimes, and life is unpredictable as well. Right when you think you have life figured out, it throws you a curve.

I'm not good with curves. My being wasn't made for emotional turmoil. When other people I love hurt, I hurt even more for them. I envy the people that can turn away without a care. What do they possess in their genes that I don't have?

It was so close. I almost had a daughter move within reach. I could feel her, I could see her, heck I could almost taste her.

My emotions took control and I let my defenses down and actually imagined what it would be like to have family here. In the same area. In the same vicinity. In the same city. Could it be? Would it really happen?

So close. But not to be. Not now. Maybe later.

My heart sunk. I did it to myself. Hoped for something that wasn't to be. I was planning MY life. Forgot to take into account, other lives were involved.

Time to switch gears. Put the focus back on where it should be. Her life. Her wishes. Her future. Her choices.

I am so proud of her man. He set out to better himself in a difficult economy. Stuck to his goal through tough times. Knew within himself that there was something bigger and better for him. And he applied. And he applied. And then he applied again. All the highs and all the lows of the job hunt. Then the pay off. Not only did he receive an offer, but a position was created just for him. But not in Dubuque. How proud he should be of his perseverence. It is his time to shine.

So their lives are changed. For the better. When one is happy with one's life, the world itself is such a happier place.

I am happy too now. All I ever wanted was for my children to have a good life and be happy in their own world.

Life is funny sometimes.

Spring?

I woke up this morning and saw white. The two robins in my yard are very confused. I'm glad I didn't take off my snow tires yet. Apparently Mr. Winter is putting up a good fight to say byebye.

But today was my day to start spring cleaning. I should invite family over TODAY, RIGHT NOW as my kitchen is sparkling. My closest family member is in Chicago so I must bask in the glory of my bright white kitchen solo. I'm embarrassed to say that it has been a long time since I scrubbed the cabinets, polished the stainless steel and cleaned the microwave. And the best thing about cleaning (especially with bleach) is my fingernails are clean too! It's a double whammy. Everytime the urge hits me and I do deep cleaning I think that I will clean daily/weekly after that and the chore won't be so overwhelming. But alas, the couch and tv win out and I put that urge on the back burner (no pun).

I've been working on my kitchen for 3 hours now. And I admired for 5 minutes.

I'm exhausted.

I gave up "productivity" for lent. Is it a sin if you break the lent giving upper?

That's enough for today! Tomorrow I will tackle another room. Unless I get the back burner urge again. I have no willpower.

Now I must find the gloves and scarfs I foolishly put away to cuss at the snow I have to step over to get to the car to scoop off the snow to get in the freezing car to start the cold engine to drive to a crowded store to shop wearing a bulky winter coat to find spring bargains to put in the closet until spring comes. The is the day that Joly built....