A day in the life....

Upon request, I have started a blog. Called "Joly's World." Here is my first entry. EnJOy!!


I went for my annual physical last week. It wasn't pretty. I need to exercise, eat less and lose weight. Well, doc, tell me something I don't know. What's a few extra pounds on a mature woman?? It's taken me YEARS to get this figure!!

But I paid for this advice so I best heed the doctor's words. I decided to ease into this exercising crap slowly. What to do what to do? YOGA! I can stretch. I can bend, sorta. I can meditate and can easily hum OMMMMM.

A friend recommended a new yoga place downtown. I like that it is downtown. I don't know many people who go "downtown" anymore so I can go to YOGA and make a fool of myself in the company of strangers.

I am quite excited to start my exercise routine. But then.... a few days before the first class, I stubbed my little toe and broke it. I figure this is God's way of telling me I shouldn't rush into exercise. However, I ignore my inner voice and go to yoga, broken toe and all.

There are 8 of us in the class. I know no one. Life is good. Late to class and am forced to flop my mat up in the front of the class. I only pray that the instructor will turn the lights low.

"Hello students! Welcome to Yoga. We are going to learn a few basic positions."

I am pumped. Let's go! Surely this weight will just drop off.

"We're going to start with a posture. Squat down on your toes."

Oh lord. Did she say SQUAT on your TOES? I want to raise my hand and explain that I have a purple little toe that doesn't like to flex.

But I resist the temptation... I can do a stinkin squat.

Only I get into the squat position. My right foot aka toe is on fire. The pain is excruciating. "Hold this position for 10 counts." I last til count 1-1/2. I try and gracefully get out of the squat but alas I roll on my back and my legs go flying up in the air. I could hear snickers. Again I want to explain I have a sore toe. But the yoga sargeant has moved on to another "easy" position.

"Let's now move into a triangle." Say WHAT? I have two legs, two arms, I do not see a triangle shape forthcoming.

"Spread your legs apart and put the weight on your feet." OH NO. I sense a shifting pose coming.

Correct! "Now bend forward and walk your hands to the right foot."

Ok, I got to the bending position but all the blood in my body is now in my face and I feel dizzy. "That's right, walk your hands to your right foot." I am still trying to figure out which way is right. I start to walk my hands to the right and realize that when you do that, the weight goes to that foot. MY TOE!! My purple toe!! PAIN!

"Excellent. Now roll up slowly." Forget the roll. I spring up like a chicken trying to fly.

The night progresses into various poses and I'm ready to think this exercising is wayyy overrated.

Ten minutes left of class and we are now in the "relaxation" pose."Focus on your intentions you had for this evening." My intention was to get off my toe so that I could walk out the door instead of frantically dialing 911 on my cell phone.

"Any questions?" Yup. You got any classes that are easier and that I can lose 20 pounds in a month?

"See you next week." Apparently, they don't.