Hide and Seek

I have "misplaced" my Discover credit card. I should say "lost" but it has to be around the house somewhere. My Discover card is basically the only credit card I use. I love its rewards program. My husband keeps pushing me to open an American Airline Visa card so we can rack up mileage points. He has an AA Visa card and uses it all the time and has chaulked up some major flier miles. But I don't think I would qualify for an AA Visa gold card. I think you have to HAVE an income. My salary makes minimum wage look good. Plus I love my Discover card.

Only my credit card has been misplaced. Deciding to search for the card before calling the 800 number to request yet ANOTHER replacement card; yes, I've misplaced my Discover numerous times, I go outside to look in my car. Maybe it has fallen out of my snazzy Coach purse which I never zip close. With my butt in the air, I am looking high and low under the bucket seats, in the console, in the glove box. No card.

Next, back inside my house, I search under the sofa cushions. Maybe it slipped between the cushions after I used the card to place an online order on my laptop. No card. Did find my favorite pen tho and a bill I should have paid last month.

Searched the dining room table which holds a month's worth of useless snail mail. I really should go through that pile more carefully and discard what I don't need. Mental note to do that... later.

No card.

One last attempt to find it, under the actual sofa. Lift up the sofa and find many cat toys, a couple of old and now crusty junior mints, the envelope that goes with the bill I never paid, and a size J crochet hook. But alas, no Discover card.

Have to make the dreaded "call." You know, the call you know you have to make, but don't want to. I used to have to make the "Dick call." I had a batchelor gay uncle whom my mother always forced me to call when I went to Minneapolis to visit her. "He loves hearing from you girls," she would say. "It means so much to him." Sometimes I swear my mother is Jewish.

Why is it that when you call for customer service, they always say "We are experiencing a larger than normal call volume, please try our website at......." That's so annoying because you know if you hang on, eventually you will get a rep.

My wait was to be 4 minutes, or so the friendly voice on the other line said. Within 10 seconds, I was talking to Lily. Well, I don't know if her name was Lily, it was some gal with a foreign accent and I didn't understand what she said, so I just called her Lily.

"How may I help you Mrs. Wind......shi.....el....."

"I have misplaced my Discover card, Lily."

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. Did you lose it or was it stolen?"

"I misplaced it. It's around here somewhere, but I can't find it."

"Would you like me to send another card to you with the same account number?"

"Sure, Lily!"

"Oh, I see you are not the designated owner of this card."

"I'm not? Who is?"

"Patrick Win.......sch...ele...et. You are JUST an authorized user."

"Oh, he's here. Just a minute."

My husband is now glaring at me. He hates customer service reps. He has no clue who is on the phone or what I'm doing. I tell him in 3 seconds that a girl is going to come on the phone and he is just to say YES to whatever she asks.

"Hello," grumbles Pat. "um uh huh, yup......" And shoved the phone back to me.

Without missing a beat I tell Lily to send me a card ASAP. I have a wedding to plan!!
Lily then says to me, "Maybe you should get a different colored card so it won't be so easy to lose." I figure by now she has seen the 15 other times I have called for a replacement card.

"That would be GREAT!! How about a RED or a PINK?"

"We do carry a bright pink color. Would you like your monogram on it?"

Well, hot spit! ABSOLUTELY!!

Lily proceeds to tell me to expect in about a week. I hope I can wait that long..... But I now am an estatic Discover card owner again and I do a happy dance around the room. My husband is back focusing on his computer screen and ignores my dancing. He has mastered the art of focused ignoring.

Today, the next day, I came home from job #1 at noon to quickly grab a sandwich before heading off to job #2. Sitting on my living room sofa to catch a few minutes of People's Court, I feel a scratch on my butt. Through the cushion. Seriously.

Then it dawns on me. I have not seen Stella, my larger than life cat since last night when I was searching the house for my credit card.

I jump off the couch, lift up the couch and out SHOOTS the cat!! It was like a HUGE gray bullet blasting between my legs into the kitchen towards her cat bowl! She must have snuck under the couch last night when I was lifting it to search for the card. There is NO way my fat cat can fit under the couch just by slithering under it.

Poor Stella! Stuck in a dark low ceiling place overnight and my baby is hungry!!

So my cat is excited to be FREE after 15 hours and I'm excited to get my CARD in 5-7 business days!!

If I could catch her, Stella and I could do the happy dance together! It was a good day for the both of us.