I came prepared. I had my Ipod, two video games, a book, a box of Whoppers, a bottle of water. I was ready. BRING IT ON.
I had been summoned for jury duty. Apparently the court would be unable to pronounce names and I would now be known as juror candidate number 143.
Having parked my car in the assigned space for jurors in the parking ramp at 8:15 am, I went through security at the court house. Which is somewhat overkill in Dubuque as our crime rate percentage is lower than the cost of living. But I stood in line ... three deep... and walked right through the security gate chatting with the nicest security guard on earth.
Up the steps to Court Room #3. I sat next to a young girl that looked s c a r e d t o d e a t h !! I asked if she was alright and she whispered "I don't know what I'm doing here! I'm only 18!!" Aaaah, the legal system knows no age!! She was shaking so hard and I was sure she was going to start crying any sec.
Obviously, she couldn't handle being my jury buddy so I opened up my book and started to read. And then... I heard some noise behind me... and I turned to look. Only to realize I was not looking anymore. I was STARING!! The woman behind me, was striking. She was no spring chicken and yet she had purple hair!! All I could think of was "This woman is BRILLIANT!!" She dyed her hair to look like a kook!! And she was very successful. She wore the most bizarre clothes which only accented her purple hair even more! This was sheer genius. Who would pick an old lady with purple hair with weird clothes to sit on a jury? I was jealous. I should have thought of this ploy.
And then this strange lady started to talk with me. Or I should say talk to me. I tried very hard to ignore her. I didn't want to be associated with a nutcase. I quickly turned to look at the frightened 18 year old but she was long gone in her own little world of panic. No where to look now but back at my book pages and pretend I was invisible.
The court clerk came into the room and told us we would be watching a video. It was entitled "How proud you should be to be selected" or something patriotic like that. The video was filmed back in 1967 when bellbottoms were all the rage, but it actually made me WANT to participate in this process. Forget picking the kook or the frightened teen. I am normal. I can be objective. I would want ME to be on MY jury!! Pick me! Pick me!!
Video over and off we shuffled to the actual court room where we would be sitting as actual jurors in this case. I thought to myself that this was really going to happen. I was going to be a part of the judicial process. Wondering if the case would be civil or criminal, I watched as the lawyer came into the room and set up his laptop on his desk. Was he the prosecuting lawyer or the defense lawyer. Was this man representing the "state?" He was dressed the part. Three piece suit with matching shoes. Very professional. I was impressed.
Then an older man with long gray hair and a shaggy beard dressed in old jeans and a flannel shirt came into the room and sat by his lawyer. This must be him. The criminal. I tried to keep an open mind. What did he do that brought him here today? Was he abused as a child? Or was he unemployed due to the economy. My mind was full of questions.
But just as quickly as the lawyer and his client came into the court room, they left. We, the 50 plus juror candidates, just sat there. What happened? Are we going to be selected now? Did the criminal and his lawyer look us over and decide we were too intimidating? Too scared? Too purple?
Ten minutes later a rolly polly man in a wrinkled gray suit came in and introduced himself as the court magistrate and said he had an announcement.
"Good news, this case has been settled 10 minutes ago. Your services will no longer be needed this week. Bad news, since your summons is for two weeks, you will need to check Sunday night to see if your attendance will be necessary for next week. But for now you are free to go."
So that was it. I had done my duty. At least for this week. My book went back in my purse next to my untouched Ipod, video games, box of Whoppers and bottle of water. And I filed out of the room behind the lady with the purple hair. But I will be ready again if called next week.
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